Reconnecting With Your Inner Child: How Therapy Can Help

Written by Vanessa Williams, RP (Qualifying)

‍

What, exactly, is the inner child? It is a younger part of yourself that follows you around wherever you go. It is a part of the psyche that feels like your childhood self¹. It has the potential to impact your decisions, fears, and dreams². In fact, this young part of our psyche influences how we think, feel, and even react as adults³. 

‍

The inner child can symbolize a myriad of different paths in life: hardship, trauma, and even triumph that was experienced in childhood and adolescence³. The goal of inner child therapy, therefore, is to comfort and heal that wounded portion of ourselves in order to target those potential feelings of anger, anxiety, or emotional distress that show up in adulthood¹. 

‍

Losing sight of your inner child affects your ability to regulate your emotions when upset. Especially if you have an unhealed inner child wound, made up of difficult experiences from your childhood, you may have internalized such experiences from your childhood that shape how you understand yourself in the present². If we become triggered by a situation that brings up reminders of our childhood pain, this may cause us to act out and respond in destructive ways, such as through getting angry, panicking, or having a tantrum². 

‍

For example, if you experienced constant criticism as a young child by a caregiver, you may have learned from a young age that nothing you ever do is good enough. This becomes internalized and shapes your understanding of your present experiences, as you assign this same meaning - that of never being good enough - to occurrences in your current life, such as a critical boss who unconsciously reminds you of this parent². As a result, your reactions to these trivial experiences in adulthood are stemming from the inner child which overreacts at the reminder of past hardships that you might have gone through alone². In essence, you regress to that defenceless inner child when presented with a triggering situation that brings up memories and feelings of similar events in childhood. Your behaviours may feel as though they are not in line with who you are as a person³. Negative early experiences can carry over into adulthood and impact our view of ourselves and the world¹.

‍

Inner child therapy can involve talking about your childhood and upbringing, discussing specific impactful events from this time, and learning how to identify the inner child’s thoughts and feelings as an adult¹. Also important is learning how to care for this inner child as an adult, a topic often referred to as “reparenting.”^1,3 The goal of reparenting is to allow yourself to feel those qualities that you significantly lacked in childhood - validation, love, and nurturing - in an emotionally supportive way that you needed as a child³.

‍

Getting to know your inner child and regularly speaking kindly to them can help you better understand your triggers and how to meet your inner child’s needs. Additionally, taking the time to return to the passions you held in childhood can elicit creativity and lightheartedness in the process².

‍

‍

‍

Author's note: The content in this article is for educational purposes only. Please speak with a healthcare provider to obtain appropriate recommendations for any mental health concerns.

‍

‍

‍

‍

References

¹Villines, Z. (2023, April 25). What is inner child therapy? What to know. Medical News Today.
[link]

²Do you have a wounded inner child? Here are 7 key signs. (2021, October 13). Luma Health.
[link]

‍³Heyl, J.C. (2023, March 22). Inner child work: How your past shapes your present. Verywell Mind.
[link]